dreams and reality

as i sat outside on the bench at hotspot, waiting for my lunch, i felt at peace, more than i have in a very very long time. i also felt sad. the garden was beautiful. green and shady with a breeze. flowers scattered here and there and birds chirping. its been so long since i've heard birds chirping that i don't even remember when was the last time i heard birds outdoors. (those canaries the nieghbours have in a cage don't really count). the garden was empty and i sat and looked at the greenery and listen to the birds adn the wind rustling in the leaves and thought of nothing. it was good. peaceful. it was also sad. when was the last time i had a moment to myself in silence to just be.

if i close my eyes and dream i can almost imagine that i might be an artist. just sitting in a garden and studying nature. drawing. painting. creating. i can almost imagine it. almost. but not quite. i cant really imagine that it is a possibility. i can't picture my future to be anything but what it is now. so no i can't really imagine. all i see is the reality. i sit in the office. i look outside its a gorgeous view. blue skies, pretty fluffy white clouds, the green blue hills in the not so far distance. the green green trees swaying in the breeze. its a beautiful summer day with the sun shining and the breeze blowing and i'm sitting boxed in feeling cold in the artificially cool air with tubelights lighting my existence.