going away blues

massive going away blues. im not sad about leaving... not really.... cos im really excited about going :D. its more like... no one else is sad that im leaving!

sigh i have attention deficit disorder...... in that im not getting enough attention! i want my friends to give me more attention. the whole world should focus on me! ME! thats not too much to ask is it?

no but seriously, except for a couple of ppl (literally 2 ppl.... IN and AH.... and AH only cos he has a thing for me and that really doesnt count cos he is not a close friend) and of course my family, i feel as if none of my friends really care whether im going or not. maybe it has a lot to do with the fact that most of them are in lahore (or elsewhere!) and ive been away from lums for a year now and its not that big a deal. but then again this past year i kept meeting my friends on and off... practically every month. and now im going to be going for 2 frikkin years.

what makes me think that my friends dont care that im leaving....
evidence A) i didnt get to spend quality time with my close friends when i was in lahore... correction.... my friends didnt bother to spend time with me
evidence B) the time i did spend with my friends was with a huge group of people who i do get along with but who are not my close friends. that is not what i wanted to do the last time i was meeting my friends.
evidence C) i went to lahore especially to meet my friends, that should have counted for soemthing but they didnt make any special effort for me (well AAA did.... she's a sweetheart)
evidence D) NO ONE GAVE ME A FAREWELL

sigh i know im over reacting and my friends care and people have other issues adn priorities and bla blah blah and all that crap taht i would normally understand and make allowances for. but screw all that. im leaving and i shouldnt be the one making allowances for people. the whole world should focus on me! well just my small part of the world and just for a few days. im leaving in 17 days. i was in lahore for just 2 days.

OFK says that i shouldnt hold any grudges and not fight with anyone about any of this cos im leaving for 2 years adn i wouldnt want to create any bad feelings before i leave. he's right. im trying not to be upset with anyone and im not fighting with anyone. but that doesnt change the fact that i am upset.